I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
