This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
do nipples grow back?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
