I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
