I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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