if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He has the fingertips of a God
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