Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I need to align my fucking chakras
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
