K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize