i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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