I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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