So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
