I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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