the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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