Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
