Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
