Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
