Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
