quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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