no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
