you guys were way drunker than both of me
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
