At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
