Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
