i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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