So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
