Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
