my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
