There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
