I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
