I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
