He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize