Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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