nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
