dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i love accidental penises.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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