he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
