farters have to be the big spoon...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
