yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
