We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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