Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
