didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
