Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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