I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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