WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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