So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
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