So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
