watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
