I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
