I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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