Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
