Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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