There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
