Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
