It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
