go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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