is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize