I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
