How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
