: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize