Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
