Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
