I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
